Eating, traveling, watching exhibitions, taking part in the postgraduate entrance examination … How can young people be addicted to ＂socializing together＂？
"Looking for a long-term poor travel partner, you can travel all over China together."
"I really don’t want to go out to play alone again. Let’s find a partner in Shanghai and spend the weekend together in City walk, watching exhibitions, making an appointment for dinner and exploring shops ~"
"Find a partner, stroll, eat, walk the dog, and experience all kinds of new things!"
… …
Recently, the new social model of "socializing with children" has exploded among young people. It is understood that this is a social relationship that is briefly combined because of some common interests or needs, and has the characteristics of accuracy, verticality and shallow socialization. At the moment when life and work are fast-paced, it is sought after by many people.
The reporter searched on social platforms and found that people with similar interests can be found as long as they have social needs, from coffee making, eating, taking photos and traveling. As of October 30th, there were 6.78 million related posts on Little Red Book.
Why are people so keen on finding partners? What is the difference between "partners" and friends in the traditional sense? After a short period of "shallow socialization", will "partners" become friends?
one
"Partner" experience:
What friends don’t want to do and have no time to do,
I can find like-minded partners online.
The reporter interviewed many young people who had been looking for "social partners". In their eyes, "social partner" is a supplement to acquaintances — — The existing circle of friends can no longer meet their social needs, or get together with the same hobby. This new social relationship is simple and fast, and it is a precise companionship in a specific situation.
"Before the 11 th holiday this year, I wanted to travel in the wrong peak, and I planned to travel all over the West Sichuan Ring Road and meet my colleagues and friends around me. They almost had no free time." At that time, Xiao Xiao remembered that she had seen many netizens posting posts looking for "partners", so she searched for keywords such as "tourism partners", "September" and "West Sichuan Link" on social platforms. Finally, according to the tourist route, consumption level and safety, she chose two men and one woman, and the group hit it off quickly.
For Xiao D, who just graduated, "taking a child" is more like a transitional way in social life. She can find like-minded partners by posting on social media for things that her friends don’t want to do and have no time to do. "The first time I find ‘ Social partners ’ It was in June this year, when the Hello Nico band came to Shanghai to perform. I met another fan of the band on the Internet and decided to go together. " Xiao D told reporters, "Later, in the process of watching performances and eating, we were pleasantly surprised to find that we both graduated in the same year, and our personalities and hobbies are very compatible with each other. We all like to watch concerts and performances, so it is logical to ‘ Upgrade ’ For friends. "
"Find the ultimate postgraduate entrance examination, strive to study for more than 10 hours a day, and come ashore together!" After posting such a post in Douban Group, Xiao Xu immediately got a lot of replies. "Eight of us have built a WeChat group, and we have video and voice to learn together every day, report each other’s progress, and share the topics and resources of public classes. It feels particularly warm and has a driving force to learn."
Xu Mingzhu, a psychological counselor, believes that the popularity of the culture of "socializing with children" stems from people’s new demand for interpersonal relationships in group life. "At present, people’s fast pace of work makes their entertainment time staggered, and even if they make an appointment for dinner or travel, the time may not be unified, which leads to the ‘ Social partners ’ The demand, low cost and precise purpose enable young people to feel instant happiness. "
Based on precise personal interests and needs, the "partner" socialization has brought many strangers who had never met each other together. For example, "rice partners" mainly explore delicious food together, "tourism partners" need to have common favorite scenery and destinations, and "learning partners" need to maintain a high consistency of learning systems.
2
What is the charm?
Come as convenient as possible.
Don’t spend too much time and energy to maintain it.
The reporter learned that the popularity of "partner" socialization also stems from the simplification of interpersonal relationships and the reduction of communication costs. This kind of social relationship takes the common interests and hobbies of both sides as an opportunity, and there is no need to invest more money and feelings to maintain interpersonal relationships.
Xiao Xiao told reporters that she used to travel with colleagues and friends. As friends, she needed to accommodate each other and take care of their feelings and needs. "Travel partners" are oriented to "play". Everyone stays with each other during the trip, with a relaxed atmosphere, but a clear division of labor, and a short-lived intimate relationship with a sense of boundary is launched. "For example, there will be a special person to buy oxygen bottles and bags, rent snow chains, and the companions who can drive will be responsible for driving in turn. It is very pure and you don’t have to consider your own ‘ People set up ’ Don’t worry that your words and deeds will make your friends unhappy. " Xiao Xiao said.
Xu Mingzhu said that "partner" socialization has the characteristics of one-off and fast pace, which can significantly reduce the cost of behavior and social pressure. "In acquaintance socialization, people are often tired of spending time, energy and emotions to maintain multiple intimate relationships, and instead seek a social relationship that keeps a sense of distance among strangers. At the same time, in the face of such a person who may never meet again, young people will have more freedom and willingness to pour out their voices, which also meets our security needs to some extent. "
In fact, this is also a temporary "cut-off" of the original social links. "We can break the fixed image in the original social relationship and conduct private social display. Generally speaking, for example, a person who keeps an introverted and restrained image for a long time, it is difficult to change his image in front of his friends, so there is pressure to keep his role stable. In front of a stranger, he can switch images and roles at will and experience different social modes. "
"And ‘ Partner ’ With the goal of common hobbies and needs, young people can resonate at the same frequency in a specific situation, opening up social circles for young people now, getting to know people with different backgrounds and identities, and bringing a strong sense of excitement to social interaction. " Xu Mingzhu concluded that this is the reason why "socializing with children" attracts young people.
three
Risk warning:
"If the other party contacts with a trumpet,
And the circle of friends has also been blocked, so be careful. "
Xiao D told reporters that the successful experience of finding a partner for the first time made her look forward to this new social way, but she also encountered some problems in many subsequent attempts. She sighed with emotion that finding a social partner is like opening a blind box: "Maybe when I have the need to eat or go shopping, I will find one ‘ Partner ’ Immediately fill in, we are in a precise fit at a certain moment, and this kind of communication is both vertical and practical. But to develop into friends, we need a high degree of cooperation between the two sides. "
There are still many people who "spit" and said: "Lightning protection travel partner! The experience is very poor. Without the concept of time, complaining all the time is more tiring than going out to play alone! " "Looking for a postgraduate study, we agreed to punch in and study together. I didn’t expect to just inquire about the progress of the study, and I will never find a partner again." … …
In addition, security issues have become an unavoidable consideration. Recently, the topic of "a platform tourism partner is accused of being involved in pornography" has attracted a lot of attention. Some netizens found that such posts as "looking for a travel partner, all-inclusive expenses" usually indicate "girls only" and "each needs his own". In response, the platform responded that it has carried out a retrospective review of relevant notes, and once it is verified that there are violations, it will be dealt with seriously.
"After all, I am a stranger I met online. What if I am cheated away?" A netizen shared her experience with reporters. Before meeting with the "social partner" offline, she would make a detailed "inspection" of her circle of friends: "For example, if you see that the other party often forwards news, you will also send a lot of life photos and status, which will dispel some of my doubts; However, if the other party contacts me through the trumpet and the circle of friends is blocked, I will feel very unreliable. "
Despite the same interests and hobbies, in Xu Mingzhu’s view, there are still many unknowns in the "social interaction" based on the Internet. "People can play various roles on the Internet, looking for ‘ Partner ’ Sometimes it is difficult for us to have enough time or conditions to verify whether a person is really trustworthy, which will lead to hidden dangers in money, personal safety and so on. Therefore, we must improve our vigilance and awareness of protection, learn to distinguish between true and false information in the social process, and prevent falling into possible traps. "
One question is, will this fast and efficient social way of "socializing with children" aggravate the pace of life of young people? Will it have a negative impact on the social interaction of existing acquaintances?
"Once a person begins to seek ‘ Social interaction ’ It means that there are some problems in its original circle of friends, which can no longer meet its social expectations and needs. " Xu Mingzhu believes that from a long-term perspective, social relations need to pay attention to both "satisfaction" and "quality". "Young people need to maintain deep interpersonal relationships in real life while gaining instant social pleasure. In addition, many temporary ‘ Social partners ’ It may also be upgraded to a close partnership, which also provides more possibilities for young people to socialize deeply. "